Never mind me, I’m just babbling.

I have these arguments with myself. I get terribly worked up when I find that something I consider stupid bothers or scares me. I blame this on my mother (but then, I blame everything on my parents; I figure it's just easier that way and I save myself a lot of time—just blame everything on them all at once instead of going down the list). But anyway, I have these arguments with myself in which I invariably chew myself out over caring about these things and then decide that the way to stop is to go to the other extreme. That's how this site was born, that's how I stopped wearing makeup, that's why the webcam's on. Lately though, I've been wondering if I go too far; what happens after I'm no longer terrified of not wearing makeup, or after I'm ok with not being able to hide behind my hair, or after I can blather on for months on end on here about just about anything—what then? Do I go too far and instead of conquering something, do I just fall into a different rut? Is the other extreme just the same thing wearing a different costume?

The only difference is that when I fall into the other extreme I am no longer scared to go back and visit the first one; this, however, does little or nothing to take care of this uneasy feeling.

Maybe I just like worrying; maybe I make these things up to have something to do, to pass time. To feel busy.