It was my dad's birthday last week. He turned 47. I called to wish him a happy birthday and found that he'd been ordered to be home and not do anything for a couple of days because of a bad case of the flu. My parents (and when I say “my parents,” I usually mean my mother, father, and grandmother) aren't all that good at that--being home and not doing anything.

I was a bum today. I loathe Mondays and it seemed like a worthy way to spend a Monday.

I'm much better at it than my parents.

Is that how life will pass me by? For some people, it's working all the time and never stopping. Maybe I will be a bum and never get anything done. My parents and grandmother are always busy. My grandmother is nearing 90 and we still had trouble getting her to sit still long enough for her leg to heal when she hurt it. My parents work and work and do things around the house and go to church and read self-improvement books and listen to new music and watch movies and raise children and puppies and move from country to country and get masters' degrees and learn new languages and and and...

I play on the computer and take drives and go to school. I buy useless orange things.

Do they like working so much? Do they consider all of it work? Is it in how they were raised? Is it that I've had everything so easy? Am I just a lazy person?

I feel alienated.
I really miss my family.